A lack of inertia
It haunts me, these days
Yet also it’s nice
Just to rest and to laze.
Was it not four short months ago
That I would beg,
God, end this anxiety
Burning bright red.
Is there no middle ground
A scab I often pick
As I swing back and forth
And I make myself sick.
Mulling and pondering
Over my strife,
At first I don’t see
When you enter my life.
Yet it doesn’t take long
For my mulling to cease
For me to find you
In the middle; in peace.
But old habits resurface
And peace turns to lust
For those moments of peace
When you leave, as you must.
Then jealousy, snakelike,
Crawls ‘round in my head,
For those people in love,
Without pain, without dread.
And sparks of my anger
Catch fire and soon,
I’m crying, I’m begging
God stop this monsoon
Of feelings, desires,
God quell them, I wail,
‘Else they’ll be my coffin
In need of a nail.
Oh God, I can’t stop
What I’ve already felt,
This train is in motion
I writhe and I melt.
Enraptured in you,
I long for those days,
When rest was my forté,
And nothing would phase.
But somehow I know
That in time you will see,
That I am a girl,
With eyes like the sea.
Possessing an aura
Of calm and intrigue,
Bewitching your senses
You’ll ache when I leave.
Though you now see her beauty
You still are quite blind,
As you can’t see her love
For your own heart and mind.
And one day whilst both of you
Sit near a stream,
Chatting of life
Of your hopes and your dreams,
A sweet silence falls
All but trickling creek
And a few deep blue birds
Issue songs from their beaks.
Hearts beating quicker
In both of their chests,
Neither one knows
That this moment’s a test.
Yet suddenly, she
Feels an odd sense of calm,
She places a hand
On his wide open palm.
Shocked, he peers into
Her unblinking eyes
To find naught but truth there,
No trace of a lie.
“Thank you,” says she,
“For you’ve shown me a love,
That’s deeper than lust,
That fits like a glove,
Snugly and warm
‘Round my tired old soul,
Who thought that it’d given up
Some time ago.
Consented to being
Alone in this life,
For doesn’t that mean
There’ll be less pain and strife?
But you’ve proved me wrong,
Yet again and again,
Pulling me out of my
Cold, dark, damp den,
Showing me what other
Futures may hold
Like one where, together,
We’re wrinkled and old,
Laughing and smiling
With grandchildren, too,
Where everything’s filtered
Through light golden hue.
“And one -” but she stops,
For he’s gently pulled,
Her face to his face,
Her nose to his nose,
Sweet silence again
Filled with love and with peace,
For both fears and sadnesses
Finally cease.
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